Showing posts with label Dad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dad. Show all posts

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Saturday

Laura and I went to the old house and brought back a shopping bag of fall blooming crocus,


The flower tower looks mighty nice this year.
Don't know what we will do with it.


We planted the bag full of crocus in the back half of our garden.
Just wait, in two or three years they will be coming up through the wooly thyme ground cover.


Homecoming is in two weeks.
We went with good friend Gia to a shop that recirculates prom dresses.
They ask for a donation, twenty dollars for short dresses, forty for long.

After the prom, we can take the dress back for another girl to use.


A grape?


"You're OK with a bare midriff?"
This question went back and forth.
One of us wasn't.
Hint--not me.


This family of shoes came in.
The little girl's strappy sandals caught my eye.
But the story was sisters in Converse and flats. 
The flats picked out a dress and asked Converse to try it on,
"So I can see how it will look on me."
Converse refused, because Converse would spoil the look.  


And back in the real world, here is the pick.


Laura used to have a pair of Converse.
I wonder what became of them.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Autumnal thoughts

The colchium are coming up everywhere.
Dad would be so pleased.


Next year a flat of this little groundcover is going into the coral bell plot.
It has taken over the yucca and pampas chunk of garden.
Though it's growing its way through the sidewalk cracks over to the coral bells,
a flat booster in spring will bring the project up to speed.


 Always weeds, but far fewer than when we started three years ago.
I love all the wooly thyme over here.
This is where all the anemones will appear come spring.


The mandevilla owns its hook.
I have a note on the April page of my 2016 calendar:
Mandevillas!



A little corner of baloon flowers.
The weeds know this is the place to be, down with delicate little plants and hard to sort out.


A last hurrah from the bee and butterfly plot.


Sedum. It must be September.


Thinning the summer growth.
It surely is September.


Thursday, September 3, 2015

Sorry, Dad

My dad loved puns, and spun them mercilessly. I collected one recently he would have loved:

"There will be hell toupee."

Then I read Donald Trump "proved" he has real hair.

Sorry, Dad.


Tuesday, December 9, 2014

And the gas is going down


Gas at my station was $2.55 a gallon when I passed yesterday morning. My last purchase, last Monday, was $2.74. Half a tank, I didn't stop, although after the errands and jazz band practice pick up tonight it was closer to a quarter. So, it will be lower—or higher—when I fill the tank.

Gasoline and I go way back; I remember paying twelve or fifteen cents a gallon. Its production must have been heavily subsidized; I don’t know. I do know that price inflation in the seventies was exponential. The pumps indicated cents, with hand lettered $1’s preceding.

OPEC put a strangle hold on the world economy then and the scrabble to alternative energy was on. I wonder how much the need for inexpensive energy gave rise to the alternative life style that brought Mother Earth News into mass circulation. We all read it, even if we didn't gravitate to subsistence living on an acre of land.

Many habits I developed back then are with me now. Turning off my car engine while waiting in line, for a train or at the bank, for instance. My uncle, who worked for Ford, thought it stupid. Mom, who even opened the dishwasher to “air dry” after the wash cycle, cited “saving energy.” As I waited for the jazz band practicers to leave the building last night I decided if it’s even a little colder next time, I’ll leave on my warm car.

Natural gas for heating went into short supply back in 1978, the bitter winter my dad passed away “riding this freezing cold, slow train to Siberia.” Natural gas rationing was threatened, although it did not materialize. Mom kept Dad under an electric blanket, but he never was warm enough. In hindsight a goose down comforter was in order.

My parents kept the house at sixty back then, warmer than they grew up with. It was more economical, and, “saved energy,” to quote mom.  When we all moved in together here, nothing changed. Mom simply wore more clothes than the rest of us. And so it went, until a few years ago, long after Mom left us. We were cold; Jan turned up the thermostat to 65 in the winter. Creep has set in; now it’s 66 degrees. We think back to Mom and feel bad.

When we moved here and had to renovate the entire house to move in, I toyed with installing a geo-thermal heating system under the garden that was not a garden, then. The cost was close to prohibitive and my window of opportunity passed while I dithered. I guess I regret it. When I look at power generating windmills on our skyline I think at least this opportunity is not lost.

I like the giant white turbines revolving slowly in the sky. Someday they will be obsoleted by another energy source and be smelted into electric cars or personal transportation devices. I do not agree with all the policies and devices that have brought us to falling gasoline prices, but I like the cost. And that’s the end of a complete ramble on energy in my lifetime. Except, gas was 2.47 when I filled up tonight.


Sunday, September 21, 2014

The colchium report


Only two years ago Dad's "air blooming lilies" were crowded in a weed infested bed by the porch.
Moving them was part of the great garden makeover.
They had multiplied so in thirty years that every shovel full brought up half a dozen bulbs.


We replanted hundreds, and gave away a hundred or two more.
They are all reported to be blooming now.
Some have been through adventures.


At least two friends set them aside
And later found the persistent little bulbs exploding from the bag!
One sent me a picture.


 This is the second year in the new home in the garden.
They get along well with the woolly thyme.


And the yuccas.
There is no stopping yuccas, either.


The chipmunk nibbled the first crocus up,
But now there are just too many to keep up.


Many of the bulbs have doubled.


A colchium abundance.


Pig still has his impatiens.


This week's towels. Natural.
I find I don't like them as well as I thought I would,
All texture and no tone.
So utilitarian. So Shaker.
But, it is what it is.


And I picked out a cone of colchium to finish the warp.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Happy Birthday

My dad was born August 28, 1907,
in a hardscrabble coal mining town,
Coalmont, Pennsylvania.


All my life he worked at Goodyear Aircraft,
later Goodyear Aerospace,
and once demanded of the president of Goodyear 
to be liberated from his job of supervising engineers
who designed blimps
and let him go fight "this damn war!"


Today would have been dad's 107th birthday.
The Goodyear flag once flew over Goodyear's Belgian facility.
Dad couldn't liberate Belgium in person,
But he did his part.
Happy Birthday.


I enjoy hanging the laundry out to dry;
it's an hour of quiet contemplation.


Last Sunday I looked up and saw this contrail 
with little encircling spiral smoke rings.
I stared so long it dissipated a bit.
I wonder if Gandalf was on the plane.
Any guesses? 

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Under the bridges


Until I was ten or eleven, the forty feet of our back boundary was marked by a raspberry hedge. The same raspberry canes marked the back boundary of our neighbor, Mrs. Smith, except she told us she poisoned hers, and little children who ate hers would die.

We picked quarts and quarts of berries for our mother, and any mother whose kid would stand for half an hour, picking berries into a container. More than a few of Mrs. Smith’s berries went into containers, on the off chance a sibling would be poisoned.

There were raspberries on our cornflakes, raspberry crumble, and the very best, raspberry jam.  Dad loved raspberries. He ate them one at a time, savoring them and swallowing them. He seldom ate raspberry desserts, and never put jam on his toast or ice cream. I remember him pushing away a dessert one night. “Damn! They’re under my bridges.”

Now that was something to ponder. A dad who could wiggle his ears, lift one eyebrow at a time, and pull off his thumb also had bridges. A look around the dining room revealed no bridges, and so it was a mystery for another day.

When dad built the garage and drive along the back line he moved the raspberries on the hill, and there were plenty for everyone to pick. Time went on, I grew up and left, assumed responsibilities, moved into my thirties and found myself asking my dentist what he was talking about. “You have two baby molars with no permanent teeth beneath. You’re very fortunate to keep them this long!”

Within five years I had my first bridge and the second another five years later. More than a few things wander under them, but raspberry seeds are the worst.  I suspect my dad never chewed a raspberry; I bet he extracted the juice and swallowed the pulp, a raspberry food mill, as it were.

Phil, my dentist, gave me a complimentary Zahn’s bridge cleaner and told me to buy more at the drug store. A nice product that also does a great job of threading serger needles. My favorite little tool now, for pursuing the errant raspberry seed, is a little green Gum brush. I’ve littered an acre of landfill with used up and bent up little Gum’s, with no regret. I am sorry that for all the technology dad lived to see, bridge cleaners eluded him.




Sunday, June 1, 2014

Humor, wit and mobility of the cornmudgeon


Jan and I went to visit Walt last night, in the rehab facility. It’s a new building on the campus of the Summa hospital system that is one third of the near south side of Akron. His room had one reclining chair and one folding chair. Perfect for two guests.

Walt was asleep, but Jan knocked and he was awake and ready for visiting. He said he had no idea of how he got home last Saturday, except it frightened him and he was grateful there were no repercussions. For my ears, a totally unexpected confession.

We chatted a bit; Jan excused herself to use his washroom. When she returned, “Why is your wheel chair in the shower?” The old sly grin. “I used it to get in there and set off the alarm. They found me using the facility and confiscated my wheels. I have to ask for help now.”

Two days later he knows all the staff by name and tells stories about them. A doctor asked why he was there and he said because his kid sister sent him. I laughed and remarked he would not have gone had I suggested it and I got the “What do you think?” stare.

I asked what he’d done for therapy and got “Walk, walk, walk.” I was stunned. “Between two rails?” which I considered preposterous as he left arm lies useless. “No, up and down the hall.” I went into the hall and demonstrated on the rail on the left side. Back in the room the dummy grin again. “No, the right side.” He has enough function in his left leg and enough upper body strength to slowly navigate the hall.

“How did you get past open doors?” I was still dumbfounded. Two fingers walked, 
s-l-o-w-l-y through the air. “Across the hall to return?” Same two fingers, in front of the dummy grin. I guess he intends to perambulate through the front door.

Twenty more minutes of idle chat, and I asked “So, what else are you thinking about?”

“Electrophoretic separation.”

I howled, Walt grinned, Jan demanded to know what was so funny.

The beautiful science fair project he and dad built when I was in the eleventh grade. Dad drilled me on the answers and was not pleased when I was booted in the second round. He thought I should win a scholarship; I barely rose to an inkling of what was happening in that device and why. I told the judges at the second level that it was my dad’s project, which was my out. Years later it is among the good stories Walt and I share. I never felt a moment’s remorse, though it took my dad a few years to get over it.


There’s no discharge date written on Walt’s wall chart yet, but he intends to walk the left wall frontwards in two or three weeks. Oh, and will I bring him a 42 ounce coffee from BP next time. As he is committed to recovery, I will return to my regular programming next week.


Dad, my youngest brother Mel on the left, Walt on the right. I guess Mel was around five, so the picture is 1952ish.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Crocus

I enjoy looking around at the magnificent homes in Hudson on my several trips weekly to the high school. This year is my first time through in spring; Hamilton’s jazz group practices after school twice a week.

Crocus in Hudson.
The house is being repainted.
Last night I pointed out a discovery to Hamilton—a yard full of crocus. It is so wet this year they do not look their best, struggling up through puddles as they are. They made me smile, and remember planting crocus around my brother’s grave. 

Today I enlisted my sister to be the driver when I took pictures. Not to mention, she’s the only person who can still find our little four square of family graves, our brother, our uncle, mom and dad.

Mom and Dad
Uncle Bill and Mel
The four of them are together in Crown Hill cemetery in Twinsburg. I wanted to see if, almost forty years later, there still were crocus around my brother’s plot. I've been to the cemetery three times before. Mom was too pragmatic to take us there when dad was buried; it was twenty below and chest deep snow the winter of ‘77. I do not remember Uncle Bill’s funeral. I do remember Mom’s and Mel's. And, once we took Michelle to show her Grandma’s grave and her dad’s.


The story is the cemetery, not the crocus. I was going to tell how Shelly and I got locked in the cemetery the night we planted them. As we drove Jan said she was sure all crocuses were drowned by now. We arrived, and the poor place looked shabbier than ever. The detritus of winter, soggy all over the grounds.



It’s a perpetual upkeep memorial grounds. It’s always struck me as a Hansel and Gretel kind of place, Crown Hill cemetery, crooked fences, funny stone houses. There are no monuments, only flat markers. That appealed to mom, but it didn't work out so well at Crown Hill.



I wish I knew a little more about the history of the cemetery, but I didn't find much on the internet. I won’t call the office; they want me to preplan my use of the three plots mom gifted me.  They call me so often I may need to see what I do to get rid of them.



When I was a child passing these walls they all were intact. Now they are falling and fallen, sections filled in by old iron fencing. We stopped for a closer look and think the walls were built of old paving stones, blast furnace slag and even big chunks of coal. 



I cannot believe the walls and buildings of a cemetery were folk art fantasy. The cemetery was founded in 1929 and I wonder if the depression influenced the construction.



Instead of planting crocus and being locked in the cemetery, I think I’ll follow up with the story of Mom’s funeral. Everyone has a good funeral story, and I have hers.



Wednesday, January 29, 2014

When driving required forbearance—winter war stories


The earliest I remember being in a car and knowing it was a moving vehicle was after the 1936 Dodge coupe needed a back seat, about the time my brother became a toddler and was awarded the space between my parents. I've written of the misery of that back seat, but I have other memories of that car, too. Winter memories.



Ours was green

We lived on North Hill in Akron. The operative word is hill. In order to visit half my relatives, as my parents did about every weekend, my father drove that little coupe into the same valley I still live on top of, back up the other side to visit my aunt and uncle in Richfield, or my grandmother in Cleveland.

Dad put chains on the tires in winter. The chains clanked on the roads across town, and crunched on the snow on the hills into the valley, over the river through the covered bridge, along the railroad track and back up Everett Road, off on our visit.

Snow that melted to slush was a problem. Other cars threw it up and dirtied the windshield. I remember a trip home, dad stopped several times on Riverview Road to wash the windshield with a handful of clean snow from the roadside.

I wonder how snow was removed from roads back then, especially residential roads. I remember the neighborhood men shoveling the hill on Gardendale and spreading ashes from the furnaces in order to get up the hill to go to work in the morning. I can think of close to ten families whose breadwinner had to get a car up the hill. My brother reminisced of times all the cars were parked along the cross street and Gardendale hill was the neighborhood sled run.

We did not have our garage on Gardendale until about 1950; dad parked in the drive at the front of the house. But since that drive went downhill, in the winter he parked next door, on the Cole’s level drive. He drove Helen Cole to work in the mornings.

Automobiles were “warmed up” back then, brought up to temperature. One morning Dad walked over to the Coles, started the car, came back for breakfast. A very few minutes later our phone rang. “John, John the car’s on fire!” I heard Helen’s voice through the phone, dad dropped the receiver and ran next door. The 1936 Dodge was a total loss!

My last childhood memory of cars and winter is 1955. Mom and I were downtown Akron and starting home in rush hour traffic.  It began to snow heavily, the traffic moved fitfully across the high level bridge onto North Street. Mom surmised the problem was no one could get up Dan Street Hill. She pulled into the yard of a construction company, locked the car and begin walking. Dan Street hill was indeed the problem, snarled with cars sliding every direction. It was the best route home, but too dangerous with cars, so she took the longer, easier slope up Home Avenue. We went straight up the middle of the road, walking the invisible center line.

Cars passed us, moving slowly, until one just abreast began fishtailing. We watched for a moment, Mom sizing up the situation. She went to the driver’s window, announced she would tell him how to get up the hill. She would push from his side, her daughter on the bumper, and he would follow her instructions for the accelerator. Mom always said what she meant and meant what she said; the driver fell in with her plan. I was just the twelve year old in saddle shoes in back; we walked that car to the top of the hill, to, I hope, undying gratitude of the long line behind.



A screen grab.
Shoveling snow at my grandma's house,
before there was a back seat in the Dodge coupe.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

No tall people in our family


I visited my daughter Beth and the other two grandchildren not long ago. My daughter’s house is a revolving gallery of children’s art. It’s always on the walls.

Caroline, the mistress of cats, had another portrait on display. By the arthritic knees I’d guess this to be Kipper, the cat as old as Caroline, nine, going on ten. I understand cat years are exponential.



Francis current piece was on another wall. This is the young man who bolted the Paint like Picasso class at Cousin Camp two summers ago. Georgia O'Keeffe and he was gone. He said he wasn't interested; I figured being the only boy among girls was a contributing factor.

Francis' O'Keeffe, 2012

On display by Francis, an obvious self portrait. Eyes didn't interest him that day, he said. Before I left I made an estimate of his height, and he’s in the 5’6” range. At twelve years. And I was reminded of an incident when he was not a year old.



Francis was crawling, making his way somewhere. Passing my foot he helped himself to handfuls of blue jeans and pulled himself up.  His face was above my knee, and I said “Oh, my, you will be a tall one.”

His father looked over. Now, Bill is a respectable 5’10”, as was his father. “How tall?” asked Bill. “Over six feet,” I replied.

“There are no tall people in our family,” my son-in-law responded.

Some of us in the room had a good laugh before we reminded Bill he was responsible for only half the boy’s genes, and he’d never meet most of Beth’s forebears.  Both her grandfathers were over six feet. Both my brothers were taller than our dad. And in case Bill needed more convincing, my father had one six foot tall grandmother, not bad for a nineteenth century woman.

No tall people in Bill’s family, but more than a few in his son’s. I attribute France’s black hair to my dad, too, although his Welsh father and grandfather probably contributed.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

A black Irishman


My dad was black Irish, undoubtedly through the Ulster ancestors on his father’s side. His mother’s ancestors were County Cork, the source of all the enviable red hair of his many cousins. Both sides left the old country in the first potato famine.

They tended to marry more Irish of their own persuasion, until his not strictly Methodist father married into his devoutly Catholic mother’s family.

I cannot imagine why George Marion Lytle married Mary Emma Hogue, almost two decades younger.  I believe she wanted to leave the chaos of a large family where she was the oldest sibling. George Marion took her back to his hometown in Pennsylvania.

Marriage did not suit Mamie; fatherhood did not suit George Marion. He deserted the family when Mamie was pregnant with the fifth child in seven years, and Mamie took them back home to Ohio, to her large family.

My dad’s childhood may have been little different than any other poor child of his generation. He was born in 1907, not a prosperous time for most, and certainly not the unskilled Mamie. Her domestic service wages bought little. My dad fed his little band of siblings from the pot of cold oatmeal his grandmother provided most mornings, and coffee soaked bread for supper. Coffee-sop, according to my aunt. He was ten years old.

Many things angered my father, probably as a child as well as thinking back as an adult.  The foremost was that his mother’s Catholic relatives and church did not care for the children. When the family did intervene, the children were sent to the Children’s Home and his sisters educated by Catholic charities. Aunt Laura was deemed secretarial material, Aunt Ruth convent material. Uncle Bill went to a state school for retarded boys. Dad was helpless against all. In fact, he and mother could not reclaim Uncle Bill from the State of Ohio until 1975.

Education was the ticket out, and dad started where many poor young men began. At the end of his sixteenth year he joined the Army. Stomach ulcers sidelined him; he was medically mustered out after six years, a non commissioned officer with a background in radio communication. He spent his mustering out pay on a year of college, where he packed in two years of physics and mathematics.

Money at an end, Dad took to the Great Lakes as a radio operator on freighter. A cable snapped in a storm, caught and broke his ankle, throwing him overboard in the process.  He was rescued, put off at the next port, made his way back to Cleveland, Ohio, where he met and married my mother and I wound up with the father I've written about from time to time.

A tall man, my dad came from the time when few young men carried extra pounds. The ulcer surgeries reduced his probably 160 pounds to 140, not much for a 6’2” frame. And so life went on, until my late teens, when dad developed a chronic cough eventually diagnosed as histoplasmosis, a deadly fungal infection contracted when he tore down the backyard chicken coop to build a patio. 

Two surgeries eventually removed all of one lung and part of the other. At the second surgery he refused to have the suspension sling that would allow his ribs to reform, again.  He likened it to rowing the Atlantic in a gale. With a set of ribs removed, his spine curved, his shoulders dropped. He left another twenty pounds behind at those surgeries.

Dad retired from Goodyear Aerospace at sixty five; he and mom vacationed and camped with children and grandchildren, but not for long. To add insult to injury, as it were, dad developed something called adult onset seizure syndrome. He called it falling asleep in his chair and waking up in the hospital. He hated it. His body was frail and his spirit gave up, too.  He did liken the process of dying, that subzero winter of 1978, to riding a train to Siberia, naked.

We used to remark when a parent became twice as old as a child. When mom was fifty I was twenty five. It came to me that dad and I surely had such an anniversary. Then I realized he died in a February, at seventy, and I wasn't thirty five until March.

This isn't a sad story. The parts my dad didn't like happened in a childhood he couldn't control.  He fulfilled his adult plan; he married and had a family. He remodeled our house, built a garage, took us on vacation, had a workshop for puttering about, enjoyed his grandchildren. He absorbed illness, until the end.  

He didn't talk about his childhood. He never admitted being Irish; I had to dig through the archives to learn it. That is too bad; he would have enjoyed knowing he was a black Irishman.

Dad and  brother Bill, 1910

On the patio that once housed a chicken coop, about 1956

First five grandchildren, early seventies