Wednesday, January 1, 2025

A bus trip and any other news

Living in an old folks home certainly limits my adventures. The most I generally have to discuss are my gripes, and who wants them! Not to mention, I cannot remember what I've already complained about. 

Here's one, just to flesh out my post. When you were young, did one or both of your parents make sure you didn't inconvenience other people?  Stand back, stay out of the way, watch where you are going, etcetcetc! My parents, my grandmother, my neighbors, even strangers. So, does courtesy abandon people past a certain age?

Many of us here in the OFH use devices to get around. Walkers or Rollaters. I have the former. Also the later, but am not confident in controlling it. Anyway, they take up space. In our breakfast area most tables seat four. I deduced early on I had to keep the walker tucked close to me to allow aisle access to everyone else. About three of us figured this out; most everyone else just leaves their device in the aisle.

I try to get to breakfast early, to avoid the rush. Last week I was alone at the table, but Marcia soon joined me and then Maureen. Device abandoners, both. My egg came. It was the usual cook's regular day, and I ordered a poached egg. The cook who cannot was on that day, unbeknownst to me. He thinks vinegar will save him. So it was a semi raw egg, steeped in vinegar.

I gagged, shuddered, stood and took my plate to the trash can, then ordered a bowl of oatmeal. Returned to my seat and found Jean in the third seat, walker in the aisle. I literally could not go around the table to my seat. I said "The table cannot take four walkers!" and asked Jean to hand me my coffee cup, which I could not reach. I went to an empty table.

After breakfast I refilled my coffee and passed the old table on my way out. Jean caught my eye and said I had been extremely rude and cold in taking leave of the table. Surprise! I said I was sorry her feelings were hurt, and kept on going.

The next morning she stopped me and said I had the right to sit anywhere I wanted, and we should talk about it. Told her I had nothing to say and sat down. She stopped me again later and said she wanted to talk. So, I told her that three extremely rude people had blocked all access to the table with my cup and silverware; I even had to ask her to reach my cup to me. I expected an apology from her for thoughtlessness. 

No response. So I wished her a good day and left. Sadly, I am assigned to a dinner table with Jean. I am polite, but no more. I enjoy Marcia and Maddy's company and have no intention of leaving unless I am reassigned. Marcia, Maddy and I leave devices at the edge of the room and shuffle back to our table. Jean still uses the aisle and has not apologized. The End.

Last Monday I had a doctor's appointment about fifteen miles away, so I scheduled a PARTA bus. Portage County senior transport system. They gave me a pick up time and a return time, with instructions to be waiting thirty minutes before the scheduled times.

The outbound trip was a woman in her forties or fifties, I'd guess. Very polite and attentive (I need the lift to enter and leave the bus). I was the only passenger. She never exceeded the speed limit, and there was a plethora of 25 mph zones. 

The return trip was a young man. I thanked him a couple of times before we left and his response was I needn't to that, it was his job. He drove his bus like I used to drive my extended van. At least ten miles over the speed limit, and strategic lane changing. He was very chatty and fun to talk to. When we got back I told him he was as good a driver as I had been. And "Thank You!" We had a good laugh.

Beth was here most of the afternoon, installing a new computer. Better her than me. All is now in the cloud, whatever that means. All because Microsoft will no longer support Windows 10 after this year. So, a new learning experience for me. There may be some complaining.

CleveNet, from whom I download books, stopped supporting Overdrive for downloads. Now it's something called Libby, which, I've learned, does not load to MP3, which tiny player I carry in my pocket. Apparently I need some Adobe interface to get the job done.

I put my grandson on it. His solution: get Alexa. I can even interface it to my hearing aids, which he will do. Not so fast, young man, I said. So he is in charge of a cheap Alexa and blue tooth headphones. I never thought I'd be saying "Shut up, Alexa!"

Here's a sweet picture of France and Caroline, the day he began kindergarten and Caroline started pre-school. He was five and she was three.





34 comments:

  1. Happy 2025. My wish for you is that everybody learns to look after their wagon.

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  2. Here's to a good year to come.
    One for you and grandson....friends have an Alexa AND a Siri.....they get one to tell the other to do a task!!

    Some people just assume that they are entitled, whatever the age...no call to be like that when you at least need to rub along together...

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  3. Joanne, I enjoyed this read. You're a good writer. As a fairly new member to my local senior center, your breakfast story reminded me of the lunches I go to on occasion. Good luck with your grandson and Libby, I use that on my tablet but only for ebooks. That is a sweet photo and Happy New Year. I plan to buy another towel soon! 🙂

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  4. You're too nice. I would have told Jean in response she had been extremely rude leaving her device in the aisle and blocking my access to the table so I had no option but to move to one I could get to. It's a shame you can't choose your own table mates but two out of three is good enough. Maybe Jean will ask to be reassigned. I have the Libby app and read two books on it. a month or se went by before I tried it again and it wanted me to sign back in and then wouldn't take my password. Haven't tried it since. Fortunately I can go to the library which I prefer anyway to reading on my phone.

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  5. I bet people who block aisles with their devices are the people who leave carts in the supermarket aisle. Inconsiderate. I hope someone points out she is now liable if someone falls, because she's been notified of the problem.

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  6. Conflict is inevitable in many situations, alas. I enjoyed your story about the bus ride. You're lucky to have a tech-savvy grandson to keep you up-to-date on helpful electronics! That's such a cute photo of France and Caroline!

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  7. That is frustrating about the walkers! You would think she would notice what others are doing and WHY. I guess I'm going to finally have to upgrade my laptop to Win11. I hate upgrades; they always do weird things and change stuff up. Frustrating for me!

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  8. Some people just grow up entitled.....and get huffy when questioned!
    So now I have to upgrade to Windows 11? I downgraded from it when I got this computer as it was so awful....
    Love your young driver!

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  9. I got Windows11 when my last laptop pooped itself. It wasn't that old, either. I fully expected to hate it, but it's not terrible. It's pretty much the same as 10, except they put stuff in different places. You will lose the nice alphabetical list of apps (printer drivers, stuff like that) that appeared when you touched the windows box (also in a different place), go to the window that opens and type what you want in the top line. It irritates me some because it wasn't an improvement and why do they always have to change stuff? Glad the bus service is working out for you.

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  10. I'm sitting at your table! How rude to block the path with a walker. Jeepers. I put a bicycle bell and a little tricycle horn on two of my patients walkers. They had a blast. Might help. Make sure connecting something to your aides don't mess up the program for the aides. I have my audiologist do that stuff. Happy New Year! Don't get arrested. Linda in Kansas

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    1. No, France can grow old and put speakers into his hearing aids. Mine cost too much to fool with. Headphones for me.

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  11. I guess that I always give people of the benefit of the doubt. I often mindlessly do some stupid thing, and when it is pointed out to me, am immediately ashamed of myself. I can't imagine someone saying that she had to move because she could not get to her seat for my 'equipment'. I cannot understand why a simply apology and a promise that it would not happen again could not be extended to you.

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    1. Being shamed in front of friends put me over the edge.

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  12. I am glad your grandson is helping you out with technology issues and I'm sorry about the breakfast incident. The pink boxing glove photo is from 11 years ago so Mercy ass not involved at all. She does like to box my fingers with her paws though.

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  13. Sigh at the lack of consideration. And yes, we were brought up to not inconvenience others. It was insisted on.
    I am smiling at your account of the bus trip. Being ready 30 minutes early sounds extreme though.

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  14. I remember my mum teaching us to have our hands behind our backs if we entered a fancy shop with her, a shop that might have many breakable things on shelves, I taught my kids the same. Apart from that, we answered when spoken to but did not interrupt adult conversations. I don't remember much else.

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    1. I used to have my rambunctious nephews put hands in pockets!

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    2. I would always tell my children that they couldn't touch anything. They could look all they wanted, but if I saw anyone touching anything, I would unscrew their hands and put them in my purse, and I would not give them back until we were out of the store. It was always effective, mostly because they were trying to figure out how to unscrew their hands from their wrists.

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  15. Happy New Year Joanne. Loved your ‘Life and Times in the OFH’ newsletter.

    Just wondering do management not have an advisory on ‘duty of care’ to fellow residents.
    How strange to have an estimated pick up time that advises being ready 30 mins beforehand. Hard luck if you need a toilet break in that time - you’d be worried about the bus arriving early.

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  16. Hari OM
    Where I used to work, all walking aids of any type were removed from folk once they were seated and placed in a holding cupboard. That way, there was no potential for staff coming a cropper, never mind the oldies! What a shame about this lack of consideration. Anyway, moving on, I do hope 2025 brings lots of productivity and at least a little adventure your way - even if it's with a bus that breaks the speed limit! YAM xx

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  17. Why don't all you Win people move over to Apple products? That's the answer!

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  18. My wife uses Libby on her iPad, with great success as far as I know. She downloads books from the library and I have never heard her complain about it. As for courtesy abandoning people at a certain age, I think that with some lack of courtesy is an inbred condition. Perhaps advancing age just sheds whatever inhibitions might have formerly held it in check.

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  19. Wait! Alexa can connect directly to hearing aids?! I don't need it, but I didn't know it.

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  20. I use Libby a LOT to download audio books. I just got the app on my phone and signed up. Easy. I realize though that I may be reaching the extent of how much I can learn as technology rockets forward ever faster.
    I have no idea how I would have handled the situation at breakfast. One would think that Jean would have noticed your problem getting around her walker. Jeez! Perhaps you should have pointed that out to her since she was so blind to the fact. And that's perhaps being too kind.

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  21. Some people are clueless. Jean fits the profile.
    Can management establish a rule for walker placement? This would set people like Jean on the right track.
    Tech changes are ongoing. I'm buying a new computer and will expect some bumps along the way.

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  22. I love the story of your adventures on the bus. As far as the rude woman who refuses to acknowledge that people other than her have a right to movement Shame on her. You have shown extreme kindness and patience to her. I am afraid and ashamed that I would not have.

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  23. My Dad's nickname for me was "Aunt Blabby" because I probably talked too much when out and about and they wanted me to be quiet! So yes, my folks wanted us to behave when we were around other people!
    The staff at your place could help with the walkers left in the aisle by moving them to the wall after the person is seated and bringing them back after they are through eating. Jean must be afraid of falling but shouldn't take it out on you, Joanne.

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  24. Hmmm. At a friend's place, all walkers are "parked" outside either entrance to their dining room. Most residents park their own walkers (that's a whole 'nother thread, personalizing a walker) and make their way to their table. If/as needed, staff (or a visitor) park the gear after the resident's seated, and take that resident's meal order and bring it to the table if/as needed. Their attitude is safety first and making the dining room is a pleasant place to be. Seems to work well.

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  25. Have a wondrous 2025 Joanne. I lol/sobbed reading your encounter story as my independent living building has many such episodes of war outbreaks which I have had to deal with as chair of the tenants' committee. If anything is even moved in the community room there is a war (plants, chairs, books). I could write a book. It's worse than boarding school.
    XO
    WWW

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  26. Joanne, we don't eat at the Senior Center, but your story reminds me of why I see walkers piled up outside the dining room there. Apparently you aren't allowed to bring them inside... well, there wouldn't be room for all of them, I'm sure. Can't imagine how they would be room for them around a table at your place. Anyway, Jean sounds like someone I would keep my distance from if possible.

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  27. Jeeze Louise, I'd like to kick Jean's shit out of the way and tell her if she can't behave she should go eat somewhere else. I'm sorry you're assigned to a dinner table with her. She just doesn't catch on with polite behavior. I have 3 Alexas in my house. They are wonderful. They do all sorts of things for me, including 1 of them waking me up for work. I can ask 1 of them to play certain music and tell her to play it everywhere so as I move around the house I hear the music I chose. She controls some of my lights. I can walk in the house and say, Alexa, let there be light, et voila! The lights come on. I can also use the Alexa app on my phone to turn lights on and off. Alexa and I have a mostly friendly relationship.

    Love,
    Janie

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  28. You might think living in a care home would be trouble-free bliss, but of course there are thoughtless unapologetic people wherever you are. Do people really not understand that a walker might be in someone's way?

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  29. I'm also sad that overdrive has been replaced by Libby. I'm trying to figure it out.

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  30. I'm popping in to wish you a very Happy New Year, dear Joanne. xx

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