Once, and for a long time, there was a public elementary
school in Peninsula, across the street from the post office. For the most part,
they rubbed along, amicably. How could they not, you ask? Well, parents of
elementary students sometimes had as much self-control as their children, and
thought nothing of commandeering the post office parking lot for important
events in the lives of their children, like Christmas concerts, spring
graduations, spring concerts, grandparent lunch days, and so forth and so on.
Posting notices to please not use the post office lot for
overflow parking did not work; on the whole these parents seemed not to use the
post office. So Sue, the Postmaster, took to posting signs outside. Eventually
they had to include the threat of ticketing and towing, but grammar
school parents learned to parallel park on the adjacent street, and taxpayers could
again use the post office.
Then the school district completed its jillion dollar plan,
and moved the elementary school to the educational campus on the old Quick
Orchard. The building did not stay empty, no indeed. The elementary school
building was sold to the Cuyahoga Valley Christian Academy, which opened the Heritage
Classical Academy, preschool through sixth grade.
The Academy opened a year ago. A year ago I seldom used the
post office, so the resurgence of rude behavior went unnoticed by me. Until a
recent Monday. I played cards, from one to three. I did not go home; I
continued on to the post office, with towels to mail. I turned from Riverview
to Bronson, to a dead halt in a line of traffic to turn into the school, two
blocks away. Not to worry; they would
not block the entrance to the post office, I decided, and proceeded cautiously
up the hill.
Well, yes they would! I “double stopped” next to the car
behind the post office drive. When the blockage car cleared, that car surely
would notice my right turn blinker and let me in. Wrong. She pulled up to block
the drive. I pulled beside her, rolled down my passenger window, to let out maximum
noise, and blew the horn loudly. Eventually she cautiously glanced over. I
extended my left index finger and stroked it a few times with the right. Surely
any elementary school parent recognized the universal “Shame On You” notation.
She looked away.
I made as much engine and brake noise as possible in half a
block, turned right onto Emerson and right into the post office exit. I said to
the nice young man, in the slew of turnover since Postmaster Sue, “Is your
drive often blocked by parents at pick up time?”
“Oh, yes. They do it all the time.”
“You need a ‘Do Not Block Drive’ sign,” said I. “I’ll call
the mayor.” And I came home.
I was barely in the door and my phone rang, with a call from
a Restricted Number. I wonder how they do that?
The caller identified himself as The Mayor. “My god, that
got through town awfully fast!” said I.
The Mayor said he actually wanted to talk business with me,
but was mighty curious about what went through town so fast. I explained the
rude young parent problem; he promised to bring up the sign to the Planning
Commission, and now, he would like to ask me if I would be interested in the
position of Fiscal Officer.
And I told him, had he asked me last June, when I was
casting about for something meaningful to do again, I very likely would have
told him “Yes.”
“But now, I have a job I like very much.”
Oh, the irony. I was the township fiscal officer for thirteen
years, until the accident in DC. What
goes around does not always come around. Hopefully excepting curing elementary
school parents of rudeness.