Reading the current news, listening to the current comments,
I have hope that America will do what Trump is opposing. Keep building green. I
make up little bits of blog in my head. “Roll On, America, Roll On.” That
could be so good. And that line, “Your power is turning our darkness to dawn…”
Ranks in there with “Don’t mourn, organize!”
Then I lose it, and sit in the drive, smiling at sparrows
for half an hour. And it comes to me—I won’t be me again, for a long time, or
never. I’m just a jobless old lady, waiting at the cash register, and the kid
is off, spending fifty dollars or less on the week’s groceries. I text her, “Some
bacon would be nice,” and almost don’t send it. But some bacon would be nice,
so I do. She comes through the line for $29.89, bacon included. Looks like a
good week.
I have fifty postcards left. I cannot keep a sentence
together long enough to write a directive to any legislator. This one just
flashed through my mind, to my Republican governor: “thanks for opposing the Paris pull
out.” That’s good; I can look it up here and add another line, later.
It’s hard to stay positive; say nice things first. My
neighbor with the ring of little children around her called over today, “How
are you feeling?”, and I took a deep breath and then said “Better every day.”
Here’s one thing I’m feeling better about. My front garden,
which is admired by the neighborhood around, needed dressed with top soil. The
last time I had a garden dressed was three years ago; Hamilton spread bags and
bags of soil in the old flower garden. He was a natural; all his Irish farming genes
sent arcs of soil to settle around the plants. I don’t have the balance to
attempt it; every shovel I own is bigger than Laura. The problem often surfaced in my
head, and lingered until the cat came along.
We were in Ace the other day, to buy some grass seed, and I
had it. "A dustpan," I announced to the clerk, who is also a marching band
member, with Laura. “I beg your pardon,” said he. “Laura, you can broadcast
topsoil with a dustpan!”, and I demonstrated. She’s a quick study.
Today we did the garden, then started in on the seeding over the new drains. Management is OK, and the maintenance guys have good hearts, but their intentions barely outrank my own. Several spots need reseeded, from the big storm that blew through right behind the seeding.
Today we did the garden, then started in on the seeding over the new drains. Management is OK, and the maintenance guys have good hearts, but their intentions barely outrank my own. Several spots need reseeded, from the big storm that blew through right behind the seeding.
Neither management nor maintenance has been back. I wonder what distracts them? Certainly not sparrows. I know the maintenance guys are in love with the noise and dust of those silly little tractors. Could be that.
Horticulture is just so therapeutic. Even my window box gives me solace.
ReplyDeleteHari OM
ReplyDeleteJoanne - you know we would all be over for a working bee if we lived even remotely nearby...sigh... having been absent from anything remotely 'communications' able for the last week, all the nonsense of the world passed by unnoticed. It was blissful - more than sparrows too. I wish you all love and continued healing in every day - and the joy of watching your youngsters take their turn. Huggies, YAM xx
I do miss you, Yam.
DeleteBeing outside, around nature is healing. If you are a little willing to be a bit "out there", I believe it has to do with energy and the vibe we pick up by being close to the earth. Or, it's just a nice thing to do. Either way, it's great that Laura can be such a help. Keep on healing, Joanne! This too shall pass. -Jenn
ReplyDeleteLife is filled with so much healing around us. Hang in there and best wishes!
ReplyDeleteYes, it's hard to be positive, but you sure write good blog posts.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
My dear Joanne - Do please keep telling yourself that you get a little better every day - that positive attitude does help.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.
There is a rotund older man (I'm probably older than he is) that has a booth in the antique mall. He should wear a pair of tap shoes as he is always in a hurry and busying himself around. See, I can't think straight either. Anyway, the point is, I asked him in passing the other day, "how are you?" His reply, "AMAZING." I loved that. First time I'd heard that one. Still makes me smile.
ReplyDeleteOh, I love him. Tell me his name.
DeleteI can't remember but I'll ask him again. He's about 6'4" and a headful of white hair and pretty good sized. Just a sweet soul.
DeleteYou say you wont be you again for a long while...but the you that thought of the dustpan solution sounds very familiar...
ReplyDeleteYou are better each day and each day brings us closer to the end of his presidency, one way or another.
ReplyDeleteYou are better each day and each day brings us closer to the end of his presidency, one way or another.
ReplyDeleteI am very, very glad that you are a little better each day. And hope for a LOT better.
ReplyDeleteLove your ingenuity in thinking of the dustpan.
You and Laura will have the grass growing and ready to mow. I hope things get easier for you soon. In the meantime enjoy your bacon.
ReplyDeleteIt is nice that both you and Laura like to garden. There might be a long road ahead, Joanne, but you are up to it.
ReplyDelete"I know the maintenance guys are in love with the noise and dust of those silly little tractors." Now that's an apt and beautiful description right there.
ReplyDeleteI use a dustpan to move the Italian cypress detritus that builds up at the base of the row of cypress. It works well. Terry uses a large, long-handled shovel when he does it, but he seldom does.
ReplyDeleteIrish farming gene--I love it.
ReplyDeleteI hope every day finds you stronger, Joanne. You spirit is as healthy as ever!
ReplyDeleteYour writing sounds the same as always to me. Maybe speed of thinking is the issue, not coherence? But that will come. It takes time and practice, just like any other injury. Let the healing proceed without stressing yourself about it, if you can. Good idea about the dustpan! I will remember that one for my mom. And me :) I want to hug Laura for helping you with an activity that feeds your soul. Many teens would balk at doing gardening.
ReplyDeleteyou are still you, just a bit different you for the time being. I start posts in my head all the time and then when I sit down to write they are all poof and I haven't even suffered a head trauma.
ReplyDeleteHi, Joanne. I have said it several times before. Will say it agin. You are an inspiration. You ain't no quitter! And we are all so appreciative of that fighting spirit of yours. May it be true that every day is a little better!
ReplyDeleteYour dustpan idea is inspired. I wonder how I can use it..I only garden on my deck, though. Can't walk that far, either. And my shoulder is a very sad story.....But I enjoy my deck garden, and what is in my old garden. I think you are better every day, and it's certainly a smart thing to say. I think you are a tough person! But It's hard sometimes to be patient... Be well! Enjoy nature!
ReplyDeleteMore about patience.
ReplyDeleteIt does take a lot of time to recover from a brain injury. My husband had Alzheimer's, but during this, he had a stroke from which he recovered fairly early. Then they put a stent in to prevent another stroke. Perhaps they put it in too early. He had a reperfusion brain injury during the surgery. It took months and months to heal, but it did. He recovered, even though he still had the Alzheimers. The doctor was surprised at how much he recovered. But it took time. I think sitting outside smiling at sparrows sounds very healing. (But wear a sunhat!)
Strokes basically affect the left or right side of the brain. A left side stroke and you wake up swinging for the fence, to beat the stroke. Right side and you really don't care what happens. My stroke was left side, and I was mad as hell and beat it. My fall is right side, and it's sit and watch the sparrows; the world will wait. I thought I would kick this thing in a couple of weeks. Wrong. But, I'll keep working at it.
DeletePaul's stroke was on the right side, but not very intense. The attempt to put in a stent caused whatever part of the brain controls blood pressure in the brain to fail, so his brain was flooded with blood and it took a long time for that to resolve.But it did. (Sorry I'm so bad at explaining it.)
DeleteI know its just the two of you, but to get out of the store for under $30, I'm impressed! WTG Laura!!!
ReplyDeletebetty
A week's groceries under $30! Well done Laura.
ReplyDeleteMy garden has been "dressed" by a few inches of autumn leaves, they're now mulch which will become compost after the rains.
Enjoy your time sitting in the sun, you've certainly earned it.
my word your front yard looks beautiful in that last photo, maybe a rock garden and no grass. I know it's hard to leave a previous garden which you put so much effort into over the years. what about a trip to a public garden I love visiting nurseries and public gardens and always come back refreshed, take it easy and enjoy yourself, you deserve to sit back and smell the roses; yes men and their tractors, you can't keep them off of anything that has an engine. Ok I can't get a week's groceries for $30, well maybe if I am eating soup all week I could.
ReplyDeleteTrump makes a laughing stock, who pulls out of deal joining only 2 other countries in the whole world? Orange Hitler that's who
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are sharing your experience. Great post. That dustpan idea was a good one. Wishing you the best.
ReplyDeleteI admire you, Joanne - it is sometimes hard to give the answer "Better every day". But I think it is the right one, in the end.
ReplyDeleteAnd: showing trust by planting. Our reformator Martin Luther said defiantly: "If I knew that the world will come to an end tomorrow: I would still plant an apple tree today."
That is the spirit! I wish you the very best, Joanne!
I can't believe I haven't caught up with you since before your ordeal in DC. I am so sorry for all you're going through, but am glad you are doing better each day. It's good to know you are back in the garden and of course, back in Ohio. Sure hope the summer is good to you!
ReplyDeleteLittle steps ever day. I'm glad Laura is such a support x
ReplyDeleteJust read your grandson's blog post for today and learned that he is coming to Fresno, where I live. Thought that an interesting coincidence. Since he loves climbing, I'm assuming he's going to visit Yosemite while in the vicinity.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you today as I watch the hearings on TV!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteI'm relieved that you are healing, Joanne. As for #45... he sours my milk every morning when I turn on the news. It boggles my mind that there is a percentage of people in Hawaii who still support him... some I know personally and I shake my head.
ReplyDelete