I’m probably not too old for this job, but, damn, I am old.
What haven’t I figured out, children?
We have Emily, tapping her toe and counting down three weeks
to escaping to Hiram. Living on “the wrong side of the tracks,” far from
Hudson, has benefits. These girls met the bus at 6:15 every morning and got off
at four every afternoon. Their lives were homework, supper, bed. Emily’s social
life was band, and her eventual boyfriend was a band member.
There were school dances, and the occasional movie, but even
more, complaints they never did ‘boyfriend, girlfriend things.’ This, as we all
know, got little sympathy from me.
Emily’s boyfriend worked, as did Emily. I found it ideal, and saw no
reason to facilitate more “dates” than I did.
This final summer of freedom, however, is exactly that: more
freedom than they knew. Emily has been allowed in Scott’s car since last
September. Dates are fine; there is no personal running around. They both work
at the same place, but I will not let him bring her home, except from a Friday
night date, which must end by ten.
Last week Emily and I were coordinating calendars. “You do
know Scott is taking me to a concert Tuesday night?” No, I didn’t, but no
matter.
“Where is it?”
“Blossom.”
Blossom Music Center is a huge outdoor music stage, less than
ten miles away. Two roads south of here. Nice facility. I’ve seen Peter, Paul
and Mary there, and Paul Simon, and the Cleveland Orchestra. She and Scott and
his sister and her boyfriend, and probably a bunch more are seeing Blink 182. (?)
“And we were thinking, since it will be so late, and so far,
we’ll just go to Scott’s sister’s apartment and spend the night.”
“Thought I’d miss that, did you?”
“It was worth a try.”
“No, Scott can drop you on his way home, say midnight,
latest.”
There is nothing new under the sun.
It's a fine line, a friend once described it to me as giving them just enough rope to not hang themselves with. Good advise, but how much rope is too much rope? You've done a terrific job so far, at some point you just have to trust that the mistakes which they will make are few and the consequences small. That time is coming soon.
ReplyDeleteMy youngest goes to college this fall as well. I reminded him that as a boy, he is about 4 years away from fully appreciating the consequences of his actions. My advise was "If it seems to you that it might be a stupid idea...it is!"
Gotta give the girl chops for trying.
ReplyDeleteWe were living in Turkey when our daughter was in her first year of college. At Christmas when she came "home" (Turkey) we were at a party and people were talking about how old a kid should be to be allowed to do something---can't remember what-- and someone turned to our daughter and asked her how old she was when she got to do that. Without blinking an eye she said my age and 10,000 miles. Had to laugh. Your granddaughter will do fine.
Let's face it, she had to try. At least she mentioned it and didn't just go. You've taught her well!
ReplyDeleteHari OM
ReplyDeleteYes, soon...but not quite yet. .. YAM xx
No harm in trying... or testing... or whatever it's called. Thinking back I was given more freedom than anyone I knew... but I was expected to make adult decisions. We won't discuss here how I handled my freedom, but I will add that your girls are fortunate to have you as their guide. Yes indeed!
ReplyDeleteThis made me chuckle out loud. Nothing gets past Grandma. But soon Emily will be on her own and no one to answer to except herself for her schedules and activities. I hope what you've taught her will guide her well. I remember my first year of "freedom". My goodness I was out all the time but still managed to pull in very good grades (such is the energy of youth). After that I settled down to a more manageable schedule and responsibilities. I'm sure Emily and Laura after her are looking forward to a greater variety of things to do in a larger town. I know I sure did. I still prefer a larger town/city though I also do love the country. Happy week ahead!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Scott is going to Hiram? That will make a difference, won't it? I laughed out loud--- she KNEW you were going to object to that little plan.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me wonder what they will do when we aren't watching and worrying every single moment????? Happy Monday!
ReplyDeleteThey make a lovely looking couple. Hopefully as she hears the "no's" from you she'll start analyzing what could be wrong with what she might be wanting to do and then perhaps not try that when she is on her own at college.
ReplyDeletebetty
Nothing new under the sun indeed. And it really wasn't worth the try. Which I suspect she knew.
ReplyDeleteYou are wise. Your girls will appreciate it even more when they are older and wiser themselves.
ReplyDeleteThat's so funny. My husband was a sucker for the "stories." Me? I'd keep a straight face while I listened to the tale and then passed on the edict. Enjoyed this. I admire your energy. I burned myself out on those three boys of mine.
ReplyDeleteThought I'd miss that, did you?"
ReplyDeleteHa Ha. Grandma's still the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Joanne, I've emailed you at your gmail address. Heads up!
ReplyDeleteI believe you are fortunate that Emily is so obedient.
ReplyDeleteI think it's more that she sees the finish line.
DeleteThat's a good girl you have there. Just enough spunk to give it a try but mature enough to handle the no.
ReplyDeleteI am sure she knew the answer before she asked it.
ReplyDeleteWell it was worth a try wasn't it Joanne - even though she knew the answer in advance.
ReplyDeleteshe'll be on her own soon enough.
ReplyDeleteIt's a beautiful age... how I miss it!
ReplyDeleteWe live in hope. All of us, it seems. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing she has you. Lol.
ReplyDeleteYour Emily reminds me of the kidling a bit. When she was in middle school a girlfriend invited her to a weekend sleepover; as I knew the girl's parents, I had no problem with it but as the time grew closer Jenn was more and more antsy.
ReplyDeleteWhen I sat her down and asked her what was wrong she told me the girl's older stepbrother was supposed to spend the weekend as well and that he'd been trying to talk the kidling into a make-out session. I said "so you're telling me you want me to forbid you to go..." and she burst into tears and hugged me so tight I couldn't breathe, then made the call as soon as she stopped crying.
No matter what they say or even think, they want us to have their backs... and you did. Nope, you're not too old.
teen years - That was the worse part of my dad job.
ReplyDeleteWell, she tried! She probably would have been more shocked if you hadn't noticed the overnight part :) You're never too old. What's with the For Sale sign up top?
ReplyDeleteFlying a kite there, wasn't she!
ReplyDeleteOne advantage of age-if you haven't tried it yourself you've seen someone else try it
ReplyDelete