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Friday, July 31, 2020

I hate being old in the middle of a health epidemic, with a buffoon as the leader and clowns bringing up the rear

I avoided saying "my leader"! But worst of all, why am I always putting the needle to the bubble?

I'm seeing my counselor again. Last March I was seeing Kathleen maybe once a month. We were pretty talked out. When she called to turn our April appointment into a phone appointment, I decided just to take a break altogether. 

Floating, bouncing, haunting, loitering around this bubble all summer only augmented my ability to think, and especially about this coming winter. I like regularity. Larry takes my trash to the curb. Don mows the grass. I've never found someone to clear the snow.

One solution is to abandon the snow. Move to assisted living. I've completed all the paperwork except the doctor's certification of health. I wonder if that's a crap shoot. It is in a couple of weeks. I won't move, at least not yet, but at least it's settled, one way or another.

I will figure out how to hire a reliable snow remover. 

On the other hand, just go to the cafeteria for meals. But, who would make crostatas?  For lunch today I finished the blueberry I made the other day. When lunch was over, I rummaged in the pantry for an appropriate plate. Who said it must be round?



The worst part of my life right now is the damn warp. I sat down after lunch, with a smile on my face and a clear head and tied on two bouts before my fingers cramped and fumbled. It will do me no good to try again before tomorrow. So, five are tied, six to go.

To keep up my enthusiasm, I put my two blues on the table. I will choose one to weave with next.


One is called denim and one is called jeans. Any guesses? I am so pleased all the colors were named by Monsieur Brassard, and I need only order them.

When I decided to weave towels for sale, I ordered thirty seven colors, and have woven through about half. The only additional color I've ordered is black. Not only was I surprised to have a customer want it, I was surprised to sell the rest. Few are left. After the blue, I'll weave grey. Can you believe someone wants grey towels? 


41 comments:

  1. I hope (and fervently believe) that the warp doesn't defeat you for long.
    I have been feeling overwhelmed at the world for quite a while now. Stepping back I try and work on things I CAN change/affect and let the rest go to the keeper.
    Grey towels? Not for me, but I can see them looking lovely in some stylish, minimalist homes.
    Good luck with finding a mover of snow - and please keep us posted about your decisions.
    You have become very dear to many of us.

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  2. You are a very tough woman! You keep persisting. You keep figuring things out. I admire you a lot...I like blue towels and red ones best of all.

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  3. I'd like those big spools of blue to sit and admire, too.
    My first thought at your heading off to assisted living is this new world where living with others can be detrimental to your health. And I'm not sure I could hand over kitchen autonomy to someone else.
    I really hope you find yourself a snowman.

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  4. Hari OM
    Oh yes I can... grey is THE colour of the times. Every home rejuvenation show we watch here, ends up with walls in various shades of grey, bathrooms in grey black and white and kitchens with steel grey fittings... those grey towels well blend in perfectly!

    I could feel the weariness, Joanne. True, some of the individualism may have to be sacrificed if you go into assisted living. But I can't help think it would bring much relief also... YAM xx

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  5. grey with a red stripe right down the center, saying I'm not dead yet! Assisted living unless you are in an iron lung might be entirely limiting. My folks tried it, hated it, and became very unhappy. I can not imagine your independent intelligent self being in assisted living facility. just find a snow guy. That will simplify your winter! I love the darker blue spool, and I like grey!

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  6. Keep raging! And grey although boring is still fashionable.

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  7. I'm trying not to make any big decisions until this very weird time has passed.

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  8. I feel ya. Going through the same thing here. I'm blessed that the senior center I belong to makes sure I have cooked meals even though they are closed. I've also been dealing with cramping fingers...and legs at night when in bed. Guess it's coming from sitting so much but what else is there to do. I would choose the blue one. All we can do is keep ourselves busy and not give up.

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  9. Grey is a fashion color, so I'm not surprised it sells.

    If you can organize the daily needs such as snow removal and you can still live happily alone, I would be cautious about a move. Yes, consider it. And consider what might be the downside. I don't mean to be discouraging, just that most of my friends are in assisted living and more isolated than I right now because of the pandemic. No visitors, no Uber or Lyft to go places, no communal dining. They really didn't bargain on this. I have a more social life, with younger neighbors, kids out playing, life all around. Anyway, my 2c. Worth every penny you paid for them!

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  10. You are keeping on, which is all that any of us can do. I feel discouraged and robbed of precious time and moments with friends and family. (especially as an older person, time is already short!) I love gray towels; they go with the greens, blues and purples that I favor.

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  11. My first response to you in assisted living is as follows: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
    My mother in law ended up in a really nice one and she was bored spitless. Dinner was too early and was tasteless. Most people could not carry on a conversation due to mental decline or profound deafness. She watched a lot of television, alone. The facility's little bus did not have a wheel chair lift so she was marooned there. We used to think it wouldn't be so bad, but being there with her suggested that it would. That's just my opinion which was free, so we know what that's worth. I like the idea of black and white towels, especially for the all white kitchens.

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  12. Right side jeans? A saying here in Britain for unwanted guests: 'Never darken my towels again'.

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    1. P.S. It is too early to be thinking about snow clearing. If I lived closer I would clear the snow for you, and I would do it just for the towels I have already been given. What happened to the girls? You hardly mention them anymore. I hope you know how much you are loved by complete strangers.

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    2. are jeans made of denim? why are they two different colors?

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  13. I have a lot of gray clothes. I don't think I'd like gray towels. they would look dingy all the time I think. or maybe not. now the black and white, they will never look dingy.

    don't even think about assisted living until you absolutely cannot manage. besides, they would label you a troublemaker.

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  14. These are such trying times, I can understand your consideration of assisted living. Community living has been one of the areas in Canada which has been hit hard by Covid. I hope you find a snow man for your continued independence if that’s what you decide. You are important to many of us Joanne.

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  15. If I would guess, it is not only the snow that has brought this thinking of Assisted Living to the forefront. This damn year has taken so much from us and we have too much time to do a lot of thinking about what’s next. Right now may not be the time to go into group living because of the virus and it’s spread in homes like that. It is good though to have a plan when the time is right.

    Grey is the color of the decade. It seems right.

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  16. Keep eating the crostatas! Planning meals is very therapeutic. Can you get stuff delivered? No more advice from me on the other issue - but continue writing your blog.

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  17. You're still going strong. And here am I just trying to get the dishes done.

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  18. You accomplish more than I do each week. I seem to be able to do less and less and I'm not sure if it's the weather, the pandemic or just getting older. I just try to roll with it all. Fortunately I don't get much snow where I live but have been thinking of moving out of town. If I do that there will definitely be more snow. I doubt I'll be making a decision any time soon. I hope you get a reliable snow shoveller.

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  19. When and if you are ready assisted living could be a good thing. I think grey is a good color for towels.

    Betty

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  20. You do you, Joanne. Whatever you need to do to make it work then do it. Based on what I am reading on your blog and hearing from you on my blog, I think you are in a good spot. Maybe if you solve that snow removal problem then it will be perfect? Regardless, we are here for you no matter what.

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  21. Our master bathroom is all white and I have various sets of colored towels but the grey are the most stunning! It took us many years to think of using that color.

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  22. It seems like you only just finished settling in there and here you are talking of a potential move already. I hope you find a reliable snow clearer, do any of your neighbours have suggestions for this?

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  23. Denim or jeans, jeans or denim....Acck! If you check around maybe you can find someone to shovel snow. Around here there are companies that shovel snow in the winter and mow in the summer. Only you know what is best but I just can't see you in assisted living right now. As someone else said, until Covid is mostly passed, assisted living and similar situations might not be so good. Actually until we get out of the nightmare that is Covid I think it could be risky to make any major decisions. Too much is uncertain these days. By the way, I love your post title! So true!

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  24. Everything Tom wrote. That's exactly how I feel. Every day I look at your wonderful towels and think what an amazing woman you are.

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  25. You have marvellous resilience I envy you, don't go into communal living yet it is just too dangerous.

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  26. Hello Joanne - just throwing my two cents in here, but I think right now, in these times of unrest, worry, stress, and general crappiness, is perhaps the wrong time to be making those kinds of big decisions. You are independent, wise, feisty... all the qualities necessary for carrying on. -Jenn

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  27. I have no advice about anything from assisted living to the warp or the color gray. I can only say to do what your heart and mind and spirit and soul would like you to do. And body. It does occur to me that if we lived in a perfect world (haha!) that anyone who has spent their life taking care of others would qualify for the help of someone when they needed it.
    Meanwhile, I admire and respect you in so many ways. You are a strong and stellar woman, Joanne!

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  28. Funny you should bring up the snow. My garbage is a consistent challenge. I rely on a nimble next door neighbour or Daughter or Niece when they visit. You wouldn't believe the hike it is from my apartment, down the elevator, walk a lengthy hall, then a parking lot. If I have to, I trolley it to my car and then drive it to the dumpster in a far away corner of our huge plantation. And this is a building for seniors, so poorly planned as to be laughable.

    I am currently looking for assisted home care. A story unto itself.

    Your towels are gorgeous, I love mine.

    XO
    WWW

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  29. OK, Joanne, my 2 cents thrown in here. No assisted living until absolutely necessary - and now (with the virus running rampant) would not be a good time. I think you are too independent to be happy in assisted living, but that's just my opinion - and only you know what will work for you. As for the blues, I like them both... maybe the one on the right (jeans is it?) a bit more.

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  30. Snow removal is a bit of a dilemma for su too. We can hire contractors, b they are rather expensive and not all that reliable. They get here but not always in propitious time.

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  31. You have made it through so much. Don't throw in the towel during Covid. I would come and shovel your snow if only I didn't live a couple of states away. I know that you will find a shoveler before the snow flies.

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  32. Some good decisions to make.

    Snow removal is so far in our past. I found a photo of John in April 1973, Ames IA. There had been a three day blizzard, snow was up to our windows. Drifts were near us, and all the other graduate college guys dug a shelter that fit 12 grown men. Boys or men?

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  33. Are folks in assisted living allowed to mingle in the cafeteria under pandemic rules? Or do you even want to mingle?

    I'd think solving the snow removal problem would take a big worry off your shoulders and that might be all you need to shift the scales in the other direction. But it's good to be prepared. What's the saying? - prepare for the worst but hope for the best. I like Mr. Shife's line: You do you. And if you do that, it will be right for you.

    I'm not surprised the gray towels are popular, nor the black. They will fit right in with the modern esthetic of granite countertops and stainless steel appliances and other monotone colour schemes. And at an even more basic personal level, everyone's tastes are different. Is it harder to weave with the darker colours or the lighter colours (given that the warp is light)?

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  34. There are advantages to both living independently and with assistance. You will figure out what is best for you when the time is right.

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  35. I like grey and it's very fashionable at the moment. I have black tea towels. :D

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  36. I have some black towels. My big bathroom was pink and black and white.
    Please reconsider going to assisted living. I just came from one, and not only is it fraught withh the virus, there is no peace and quiet.

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  37. Joanne- I have lost your e-mail. You've been silent for a few days and I worry. Did you have a birthday? I hope all is well. You are on my mind.

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