Laura emerged from the band bus, bummed last Friday. That’s “despondent”
in old people language.
I’ve learned it’s
better to pry into these attitudes than let them pass, and eventually got the
full earful.
“Trumpets!” she snarled. Translation: guys who play
trumpets.
“Jerks!” she responded to another pick. Translation: guys
who play trumpets, behaving badly.
“Loud and stupid!” Wouldn’t shut up.” Getting somewhere now.
“About gays!” Aha; she went to a GSA meeting after school.
GayStraightAlliance. I thought they just tie-died shirts at the meeting. Guys
all around her on the bus, being loud and stupid about gays. They probably do know she’s a
member, and think a good target. In which case they picked the wrong person.
But, something’s not right here. I went to the principal and
the band director the beginning of last year, when Laura had been assaulted
and, frankly, was terrified of starting ninth grade a year ago. As a result of my meeting with the principal, the boy who
assaulted her and the boys who bullied her literally are not to be seen. No
shared classes. No shared lunch periods. They don’t even cross in hall ways.
The principal promised me that would happen. But, band?
“I thought boys and girls were on opposite sides of the bus.”
A snort in response.
“Chaperones?” Front of the bus and uninvolved. They are
supposed to be interspersed with the students.
“What was said?” “They were screaming at me, ‘How do you
have sex with a trans? Where do you stick it?’ Stuff like that!”
When the jerk trumpets refused to shut up, she shut up and
waited out the bus ride back to school.
Today we talked solutions. I sent an email to the teacher
who sponsors GSA, explaining she needed to open a discussion and show the
youngsters ways to deal with jerk trumpets.
Then I sent one to the band director, telling her she broke the rules I knew were in place at the beginning of 2016, a year ago. Boys on one side of the bus; girls on the other; chaperones evenly distributed. I have witnesses (more than one, I hope.)
Then I sent one to the band director, telling her she broke the rules I knew were in place at the beginning of 2016, a year ago. Boys on one side of the bus; girls on the other; chaperones evenly distributed. I have witnesses (more than one, I hope.)
“And don’t mention I’m the only S in the whole group. Let
them worry about breaking a bunch more rules. They won’t miss you when I’m gone.”
Summer's almost gone; winter's coming on.
You are a force to be reckoned with.
ReplyDeleteAnd will assuredly be missed.
I wish you did not have to deal with all this.
ReplyDeleteActually, Penny, gives me something to do.
DeleteWhen is the world going to straighten out? Why can't people just leave each other alone to live their lives in peace? Thank God there are folks like yourself around who can keep the lines straight and ensure the jerks are forced to stay within them.
ReplyDeleteStill looks like summer there, but a cold front came here last night with a high of 64 today. With the wind blowing, it is really a little too cold for my liking (in the shade), otherwise, glorious.
ReplyDeleteThe young can be so cruel (so can we all but somehow it is more hurtful coming from one's peer group). I have a trans grandchild and he/she suffered terribly through school years.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't just come to them, Pat. They learn it at home.
DeleteWhat is wrong with people??? I have nothing else oming to mind.
ReplyDeleteIt is shit ignorance.
ReplyDeleteHari OM
ReplyDeleteyup we seem to skipping autumn here and heading straight into it... hope that director understands the storm in the offing!!! YAM xx
If you don't point it out, nothing will change.
ReplyDeleteTeenage, the golden age of jerks!
ReplyDeleteActually, Joe, there is a consequence to such contemptible behavior. Hopefully suspension as opposed to detention.
Delete"They" may not miss you when Laura's gone, but "they" will be the poorer for not having you to uphold right and moral behavior.
ReplyDeletePeople! Pah!
Joanne, I have to give you credit for getting to the root of Laura's despondency. Most kids tend to bottle it up and let it fester - which is definitely dangerous.It's great that she will open up to you and that you're capable of translating her words.
ReplyDeleteGood for you. This was a teaching moment missed because the teachers all sat together in the front of the bus. Why? well it is the most comfortable spot of 50 some uncomfortable spots in a big yellow bus but it has been brought to their attention that someone cares so my guess is it won't happen again ... at least this semester.
ReplyDeleteI hope the school can get their stuff sorted so that all students and especially Laura, feel safe. I am glad you are taking charge, Joanne.
ReplyDeleteIt seems there are bullies around every corner. Good thing there are those that stand up to them. Best of luck with it!
ReplyDeleteI often wonder why people think high school was the best year of their lives. Too many people dealt with issues like Laura has had to deal with. Such immaturity, etc. You are a good advocate for her.
ReplyDeletebetty
So glad you and Laura can talk better to talk about it than to let it fester, not sure jerks can ever be controlled but a good idea to let the teacher know to bring up a discussion about what to do in those instances, only to be fly on the way at that discussion.
ReplyDeleteSad there's been a relaxation o some very necessary rules. Even though time has passed, the problem won't have gone away and they need to remain vigilant. The teachers and chaperones, I'm talking about. Good that you let them all know what's going on, but I'm surprised the chaperones on the bus didn't hear the boys and step up to stop them.
ReplyDeletejust like trolls on the internet, they love it when you engage them. ignoring them was probably the best course of action. they may not miss you when Laura is gone but the kids will suffer.
ReplyDeleteYou are very proactive but in a calm and reasoned way it seems.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a parent-chaperon on field trips, I sat in the middle of the bus, or the back, or wherever, with the kids for whom I was responsible. I didn't take any crap from anyone. That's the way it has to be.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
I wish such things were not necessary to confront, but since they are.......It's excellent that you are there to deal with them. Someone has to. It would be great if the minds and hearts of these trumpet guys could be changed, but if not, their behavior must be stopped.
ReplyDeleteoff topic, I see Elements is closing.How will this affect Laura?
Actually, just moving back to Medina. No time like next summer to learn how to drive 20% grade hills.
DeleteGood news!
Deletebrings back memories of my daughter being bullied on the secondary school bus..who was the worst culprit? two girls, daughters of a couple,both police....
ReplyDeleteBeing in the band is a privilege that should be taken away to those who break rules.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness you got the bottom of things with Laura...but what a lack of responsibility shown by those supposedly in charge.
ReplyDeleteIt's made me remember just how ghastly school could be !
ReplyDeleteGood for you ... bullying must always be confronted .
I just don't understand how adults can stand by and do nothing! Good for you Joanne!
ReplyDelete