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Thursday, March 2, 2017

In like a lion


I seem to be on a whippersnapper rant of late. After hours on hold to enroll the township bank account in on-line access, and another two hours of staring down a bank manager, yesterday I pulled the February bank statement. There were no copies of checks. The bank told me to call my account manager. I’ve left him two voice messages to date. Townships are required to have copies of all cancelled checks. Don’t ask why.

There was meeting in February for instructions on reporting the township’s waste. Don’t ask. 

It’s called the SummitAkronSolidWasteManagementAuthority. Tim and I used to call it Sa-swampa. It’s a quasi-governmental authority. They collect fifty cents per ton from all waste haulers operating in the county (Summit), and redistribute it to foster recycling. Every municipality receives a “grant” based on population. There is a not too complicated application involved, and an on-line report no one understands, including the people who run Sa-swampa.

I have not attended the mandatory meeting for the last several years because I cannot walk the approximately one mile from parking to the meeting and back again. Last year all the old employees of Sa-swampa retired, and new whippersnappers came in. I de-RSVPed the meeting. I downloaded, completed and sent in the application for our $707. I assembled our waste hauler information for last year. I called Sa-swampa, because I refuse to attempt this report unaided.

There is a new whippersnapper in charge of a new form. We both struggled. In my defense, it is her form, not mine. At some point she icily informed me “this is why we encourage you to come to the meeting.” Long pause as I attempted to regain my composure, but I failed. “You do know I cannot walk,” I replied in an equally uncivil tone.  She struggled on. In the end the form was submitted incomplete. She was crying. I didn’t care.

Oh, did I mention the tornado in the middle of the night as March first dawned. For thirty years I lived in a house with a basement dug into the side of a hill, and missed the only tornado, in 1988, because I was driving in it. Now I live in a trailer!

I knew this one could happen, and I slept restlessly, waiting for it. I listened to awful wind and wondered if my rain barrel would survive. I heard raindrops hit it like sling shotted rocks. At 5:45 my storm alert blasted me out of bed. I turned on the local TV, with the same message. We went into Laura’s closet, with pillows.

K texted from the old house, “Tornado warning. Want to come over?” I answered we were staying in the closet, it was that imminent. Straight line winds in the sixty mile per hour range raged past. The all clear was 6:30. We got dressed and went our ways to school and work.  Note to the future: next time go to the bathroom first. The next 45 minutes will be far more comfortable.

February friends. I've sat in my car fifteen minutes at a time watching them. Sparrows don't disperse until I get out of the car and approach them.


Aconite at the library. I neglected to add aconite bulbs to my list last fall. Next spring I'll have them, too.


29 comments:

  1. So you have to go to a meeting - waste of your time - because they cannot organise a piss up in a brewery, let alone a form...
    Sounds about normal these days.

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  2. I am so glad that you and Laura are safe.
    Sigh on the forms. And the meetings. Bleah. And (of course) hiss and spit.

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  3. I seem to be in a rage against whippersnappers lately, too. It's a political thing in our local area. And it's making me cranky! I'm glad you and Laura are okay. SOME whippersnappers are all right :)

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  4. I have no experience of tornadoes but would prefer to be somewhere built of brick and not too high off the ground.

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  5. I think they need to simplify the form if it takes that much to complete it. Less headaches all around. How scary with the storm/tornado. Good reminder about using the restroom first though before the closet. I'll have to remember that if ever in such a situation.

    betty

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  6. Methinks you are the perfect one for that job. You do have tie downs on the trailer, don't you? A little safer, though next time if one is assuredly coming, better go to a basement. I know you know this, but most injured are in mobile homes and cars. They are getting pretty good at forecasting them nowadays. Now that is coming from me, who sits in bed listening when the siren goes.

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    1. Had it been daylight, I would have been there. Didn't need gale winds, torrential rain and strobeing lightening too, even for one block.

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    2. That's pretty incoherent! I would have gone to the basement had it been daylight. The weather conditions were too awful to face in the dark, even to drive half a mile. Plus, load up my next door neighbor and Mr. Next door and Mr. and Mrs. Across the Street and everyone else I would have grabbed on the way. And, the damn independent minded cat.

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  7. Dealing with those less th half my age tends to bring out the vicious in me. Tornadoes are so scary, I've heard that getting in the bathtub with a mattress on top of you can help.

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    1. I've thought that one through. Mobile home bathtubs are basically plastic, not cast iron. Your basic airborn material. I might look into storing a light mattress in that closet, if we can't get over to K's.

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  8. I'd bet on you vs. whippersnappers every time. A tornado would scare the **** outta me, so a trip to the bathroom before hunkering down would be a great idea.

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    1. No whippersnapper ever won in the end. But, oh, getting through stupidity like molasses wears me out.

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  9. The first thing a whippersnapper must learn is how to not to cry in the workplace. The tornado sounds scary.

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  10. The tornado warning must be sacry, Joanne. I am so glad it didn't smount to anything.

    The business isn't very age friendly.

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  11. Hari om
    Having been through many a wild storm (they tend not to be called tornadoes in OZ, but equate), I do not envy you any future experience... as to the form-filler, was nearly in tears reading about it! YAM xx

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  12. SO glad you got through the tornado unscathed.
    Ah, the irony of all those tornado-free years with a basement.
    I lived for three years in Oklahoma without even a whisper of one. It took a life in Massachusetts to bring one a quarter mile from our house.

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  13. It's funny how birds don't care if you're behind glass. The moment you're not...

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  14. Thank goodness you are safe. That must have been so scary.

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  15. That's what aconite looks like? I pictured something different, perhaps I've confused it with something else.
    Scary to think of a hurricane while living in a trailer, I take it they're not as sturdy as a house? I'm glad you came through okay and a definite yes to visiting the bathroom first next time :)
    Interesting that change of management necessitates a change of form. If the old form still does the job why change it?

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  16. I keep thinking about you and Laoura hiding in that closet,it reminds me of me and my grandchildren in the shelterd room here 2 years ago,scary.

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  17. She was crying I didn't care - I loved that. I too am sick to death of dealing with incompetent people who don't give a toss. Serves her right, harsh but true she needs to report back to her manager and get training.

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  18. So you have the ability to reduce beaurocrats to tears? I wish I had that gift.

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  19. I couldn't imagine waiting out a possible tornado in a closet. Ontario does get the odd tornado and one went through our area when I was 12 years old. So glad it didn't happen! -Jenn

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  20. after spending 2 1/2 hours on the phone last week trying to get a problem resolved and being transferred...again...to someone else, I told her I was going to apologize in advance because I knew this wasn't her fault but I was probably going to yell at her anyway. She was very nice and tried to fix the problem and as a result made it worse. I haven't had energy to call back and go through all that crap again especially since I found a work around.

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  21. oh and glad the tornado was a non-event for you having seen first hand the damage one did here two weeks ago.

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  22. So sorry you are having these problems! I would not want your job! oth, I know I would be no good at it. Andy and I sat in the basement from 5:45 to 6:15 when our warning was over.....I was at the edge of a tornado when I was about 8 years old and remember driving about with my parents next day, looking at the damage. Glad this came to nothing....I used to have winter aconite and will have to look for the bulbs in the fall, if I remember.

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  23. That's a good idea going to the bathroom then to the closet. I am glad you both survived the tornado.

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  24. Riding out a tornado in a trailer would not be good!! But it sounds like you have a plan. I have lived here in Kansas (Tornado Alley) all my life and have only seen one tornado with my own eyes. We also get into a closet!!

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  25. Never seen or experienced a tornado here we have violent thunder storms that's about it but they do a lot of damage.
    Glad you are all ok.
    Merle.................

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