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Thursday, February 9, 2017

Why am I so sad today


The sun is almost shining on inches of new snow, which is blowing and drifting as quickly as the roads are cleared. I came home at lunch time to find bird prints in the snow on the drive, on the steps, on the rail. Birds aren’t sad; they just look for food. Places to nest. Scraps to build the nest.

For some reason the weight of hate struck me full force today. We throw that word about too easily. We hate things too easily. The word has become cheap. Life in the world has become too cheap. Why hate people of color? Why hate people who have a different god? Such a waste. And why was it the first thing on my mind today? Perhaps because last thing before bed I scribbled a post card to Elizabeth Warren. Thanks for doing your job so well.

For the first time in years, I’m knitting a sweater. I abandoned sweater knitting for sock knitting at least fifteen years ago.  Wool socks, to keep my feet warm. Other people have cold feet, so I knit socks for them, too.  Unlike my mother, who divided every last bit of yarn into two balls in order to knit matching striped mittens, I put my ends into a bag, to be decided later.

I joined a knitting group last year. I am amazed at all the things to be knit and worn, with aplomb. I am so pedestrian; I could never swag a scarf around my neck like so many women do. But I did learn of a new, local yarn shop from these women, and went to see what I could see.  My goal was to dispose of a pound of left over sock yarn, and to that end I came home with four more skeins of sock yarn, this time in a beautiful moss green wool, to be the base color.

The young artist in residence graded the colors for me and put them little bags numbered one through twenty something. I was sorting through the bag of numbers the other day, looking for thirteen or fourteen or some such. I looked at one bag, and said “Oh no, Laura. This one says 00." I handed her a bag of purple that had 00, underlined.

“Gramma, it’s an 18!”


The wishful thinker.


39 comments:

  1. The remedy is a hug, a hot drink and a walk around the yard. The sadness rolls in on me everyday and I must sometimes struggle to find a reason to smile. I am here (so far) and I care! The cats think you are God! ha ha Smile Ms Joanne.

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  2. The hate can be overwhelming, I agree. There are lots of good people too. They are often much more quiet though.

    Love the colours in your sweater though. Great combinations.

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  3. Great sweater Joanne. Elizabeth Warren is from OK. She is great.

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  4. What wonderful colours! I am keeping sadness at bay by simply not reading about it. It doesn't mean I have stopped having opinions or that I won't fight for them, I just have to acknowledge I am just one unimportant person and must do what one unimportant person can do. There is plenty.

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  5. I think you and I are knitting the same pattern. Mine has a turtle neck but otherwise looks the same! I will try to remember to post the photo on my blog. It has been rather short of photos lately!

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    1. I have knit this pattern since the seventies. I will make a crew neck, but it could have a turtle neck, too.

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  6. I agree hate is a wasteful emotion. Looks like the whole Elizabeth Warren senate episode has given supporters a new slogan (protest chant?) "Nevertheless, she persisted"
    very colorful piece you have there

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  7. I hope that you start feeling good again. It could be because you had posted about that blogger who died, you are still feeling sad. Sometimes we do not recognize the reasons of our sadness.
    You are right about the word hate and about life not having much meaning. Please do not be disheartened. look at the kids around you and you will realize that there is till beauty in life around us.
    The colors in the sweater are pretty. The sunny shades make me think that you will feel sunny soon. Just take care of yourself.

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  8. My arm chair is just like yours... Chin up dearheart

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  9. First off, love the sweater. Beautiful colours!
    I am despondent over what's going on. Wouldn't Elizabeth Warren make a great prez? I think so. Meanwhile, we are not going to travel to the US again for the foreseeable future. THe things happening at border crossings are too worrisome. It makes me sad. So much hate in the world! Glad there are bloggers like you. Wish I did a better job at keeping up on blog reading... I do think of you! :)

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    1. A Canadian potter friend quit doing US shows after 9/11. It took him and his wife hours to cross the border, then they became frightened for his Filipino wife's safety--brown skin equates to terrorist, apparently. I feel the same mentality settling on us again.

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  10. These days I don't feel so sad... now I'm just appalled... and feel like I'm in LaLa land somewhere that's not real. I'm very much the minority here (Mexicans and Canadians far outnumber the US citizens)... and it's painful hearing what people think of our (MY) country these days. But... your sweater is gorgeous! Is that from left over sock yarn? If so, I'd love to have the pattern... I have lots of sock yarn that wants a size 1 or 2 needle to fashion it into something useful. I wish I could say something to brighten your day, but I'm afraid I just don't have it. Just keep in mind... we will not be shut down!

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    1. I bet you have as much as I do/did. See Ellen, below. When it's done, I'll post more, I guess.

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  11. this is your sweater of left overs? nice. how does the moss green fit in?

    so yes, I hate waking up and immediately start thinking of the most recent hateful thing the occupier and his minions have done the previous day. I have to actively banish the thoughts. though I'm not so sure who is pulling the strings these days.

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    1. One strand of moss green and one strand of sock yarn = worsted weight. I started out thinking white as the constant, but too stark. Grey, too blah. Then I saw the moss green, and that was it. I'm thinking the bands will all be in the moss, I'm liking it so much.

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    2. PS--the moss is sock weight, too.

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  12. I like the sweater; would do me just fine. I have been hating the hate too, for ages. You may have noticed.

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  13. Love the sweater, Joanne! I ordered a tee shirt for me last night. I am going to wear it often. It has Elizabeth Warren's picture and the words, "she was warned, but she persisted".
    I saw somewhere the statement that if Orange has done nothing else, when his term is up, he has awakened the people to the importance of voting.
    That idea doesn't help much, though, when we consider how much damage is being done----how many years it will take to walk back the mess he has created.
    Remember the movie ET? How he could touch a wound and make it better immediately? Wish I could do that for you. The closest I can do, unfortunately, is to offer that you have many friends here who care. We have to hang together, support each other, provide what sunshine we can. While we let the world know that we abhor the current situation.

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    1. Thank you, Rose. I'm off to get that tee.

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  14. I experienced the hate from my teenage years...canvassing votes. You would not believe how hurtful how vicious, people could be to a young girl seeking votes.

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  15. That sweater is a work of art. Maybe it will cheer you up as time goes on. I'd be miserable if I were living in the midst of voters of he-who-shall-not-be-named, but I'm currently in a blue speck in Georgia, and there's so much activity that I have a little bit of hope.

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  16. It is easy to get too involved with bad news. The only way to survive is to find a balance. But then I wonder, is that going to be possible? The man can pump out bad decisions faster than people can keep track of them ...

    Anyway, it seems you are trying to find balance with your beautiful sweater. I've been thinking of making an afghan. I haven't crocheted in years and this might be the comfort craft that I decide to start.

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  17. Combat hate with love in your little neck of the woods. Not bragging when I say this, but I was in line behind a man of color yesterday buying diapers. His ATM card for some reason didn't work. I'm thinking if you are in a grocery store at 8:30 in the morning buying diapers you need the diapers more than I need to keep that money in my account so I offered to buy the diapers for him. He was a bit astounded but took me up on the offer. Even waited outside the store in his car to thank me again. Random acts like this if we all do them and others do them might take the hate away. Jesus made it so simple and we complicated it so much. He said to love God with all your heart, soul and mind and to love your neighbor as yourself. "Forget" the part of loving God if one doesn't have faith, but take it seriously the part of loving your neighbor as yourself. If we just did that......what a better world it would be.

    betty

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  18. I love the colouring on that new sweater, we call them jumpers out here. I see Toby is managing to stay off it.
    Hate is a very harsh word and the effect has been lessened over the years by people tossing it about randomly, just like the word love. Both have lost a lot of meaning. I pushed hate out of my life a long while ago, not wanting to be burdened with bad feelings for anyone, but lately I find I've been "disliking intensely" a person or two and a thing or two. And some situations too, that I have no control over, but cause me moments of anguish.

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  19. It is sad to be surrounded by so much hate, but you, of all people, seem to know how to focus on the good in each day..don't let go of that...x

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  20. Although I count myself really lucky to have a half-decent government, the pointless hate in the world is also getting to me. I think I react by making my little tiny part of the world as good as it can be. It's all we can do.

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  21. Hari OM
    So true, that hate has become a cheapened word.. but so has 'love'. Few truly know or understand its value. Betty displayed it beautifully in her comment.

    Working with colours and through ones hands is as pacifying a self-treatment as I can think of! YAM xx

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  22. It is a struggle. We need distractions so we don't burn out. Knitting that sweater seems like a good way to ground yourself. It is going to be beautiful.

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  23. "Stricken" = German for knitting - remains a secret science to me (they tried to teach us at school) - but your result is wonderful! And doing something with the hands eases one's mind, is almost meditation...

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  24. I love Betty's comment. It is the only weapon we have for the mess we are in right now. I love the colors of this sweater! You are an artist! I am trying to learn how to turn the heel of a sock.

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  25. As they say, "All of live is learning", and how nice to still be working on reading skills! :0)

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  26. Time for new glasses? As far as the hate it is so hard to keep a grip on a loving nature when the words from the top are so filled with hatred and distrust. We tend to adopt the feelings emanating from our surroundings. It seems to multiply. Sometimes it takes superhuman effort to maintain those healthy good feelings. Just remember that if you spread a little joy someone else will also spread joy. It is the best way to combat those awful feelings.

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    1. That has to be our job, Emma. Be kind, be patient, say Please and Thank You. Smile at strangers. I like that one a lot.

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    2. That has to be our job, Emma. Be kind, be patient, say Please and Thank You. Smile at strangers. I like that one a lot.

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  27. The funny thing is that Muslims worship the same god. Allah is simply Arabic for God. The Quran is basically a Arabic twist on the Bible with the addition (and glorification) of Muhammad. All the stories are there.

    So it's funny for me to see them bash the Quran for violent passages. Check the source material too.

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  28. God bless Elizabeth Warren. People who are so intent on hating Muslims need to be reminded of Timothy McVeigh, who killed so many people in Oklahoma City. He had been in the U.S. Army. His crime had nothing to do with Isis or the Koran. He was a white American whose hatred for the U.S. government ran so deep that he was willing to kill 618 people and injure many more.

    Love,
    Janie

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  29. Sorry for your sadness.I'm sure the postcards are appreciated. Senator Warren deserves some thank yous. I would like to be a knitter. I think it would be a good, useful, calming activity for these times. Hugs to you.

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