You might also like

Monday, December 12, 2016

What would you give for a Twinkie or a HoHo right now?


Monday afternoon, cards with the Methodists. No Mother of Sorrows has joined us, printed invitations notwithstanding. But the four of us don’t seem in a hurry to disband.

We have never been two only, which is a shame. I would love to teach someone how to play Russian Bank. Sometimes we are three, when one of us has her monthly bridge group, one of us is too long at the doctors, or one of us, who shall remain nameless, rides the Jerr-Dan to Goodyear to have the six year old battery replaced.

A while back I contributed a copy of Hoyle to the portable bag of cards. We were playing by family or frat house rules, and paper, scissors, rock is not the best solution among serious card players. A worthwhile contribution, as we had scratched out all the rules each of us remembered about pinochle and set out to play a game the last time there were four of us together. While interesting, it didn’t have the intensity any of us remembered.

Someone perused Hoyle recently, waiting for more of us to assemble, and there it was, the missing rule. The ten is more powerful than face cards. Our foursome has been a threesome since the lost rule was recovered, and won’t be a foursome again until January 2nd. Then there will be some card playing!

Every session, there are refreshments. Except for a crème filled donut at Halloween, I’ve never indulged. Between meal snacks are deadly. But there is such a laden table every Monday, I am coming to realize the snacks are out to keep stock rotated.

But today, apparently, there were no goods that needed consumed or composted. One of our number stopped at the Yum Yum Shoppe across the street and emptied from his pockets a chocolate covered Twinkie and unadulterated HoHo’s.  The later an oxymoron and the former—well, we’ve all read of the Twinkie unchanged over several decades of observation. 

The refreshments were offered around. He who stopped at the Yum Yum shop selected the Twinkie, when it was turned down. That left two HoHo’s and I declined one. The other player took a HoHo, but called his wife to see if she would like it. In fact, he placed several calls. “Honey, it’s me. It’s an emergency. Call me.”

They’re long married, and the emergency must be a long standing game. “She never calls me back.” But eventually she did. She turned down the HoHo, citing all the alien ingredients. He ate the HoHo with his tea, and took the last one for the road.


37 comments:

  1. Actually, I think we will stop by Walmart tomorrow so I can purchase a box of both. And even a box of Honey Buns😉 I deserve some junk food😜Linda@Wetcreek Blog

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love junk food. My folks ran a gas station with canteen when I was quite young. Maybe that's where I developed my taste for highly processed chemicals masquerading as food. I should have been a blimp; instead, I was scrawny. Fast forward to now. If I look at chocolate the scale goes up. Bah! I have to leave now, before I put on another pound looking at that picture!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. As a sugar addict, I must say, a Twinkie or HoHo doesn't sound good. I am amazed at your card playing. I knew how to play spades a long time ago. I doubt any in your group would let me play.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I joined exactly because I have not played seriously since my twenties and because when I woke up blazing hot livid at the stroke that stole my nouns, it also stole my ability to remember card games. I relearned canasta and hearts, to play with the kids, but I could not put anything about pinochle back together, even looking at the deck of cards. It's fun to play again with adults.

      Delete
  4. Twinkies and HoHo's have never crossed my radar. Which is probably a good thing.
    Card games? I remember many long nights. And would love to play again. Though we used to play cards with household tasks as the forfeit. Until I discovered himself was mugging up stategies....

    ReplyDelete
  5. I don't think those items are classified as food really. I can't eat those either.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Neither these days, but when I was a child I would freeze a twinkie so I could eat the cake part and be left with the sugar dense filling to have at the end.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am trying to avoid such horrible junk food. ALl that sugar is poison. I am not always successful.

    ReplyDelete
  8. How fun to get together and play cards! I always enjoy a good card game. These days I rarely eat sweets though there was a time in my life that I fancied them a lot more than I do today. Worked for heart surgeons years ago, one of them, his favorite treat was frozen Twinkies. Go figure!

    betty

    ReplyDelete
  9. I don't think I've ever had a HoHo. In face, I'm not even entirely sure we have them here. I'm more of a homemade dessert kind of girl (where you can control the sugar - did you hear the sarcasm?) I'm a terrible card player. -Jenn

    ReplyDelete
  10. I tied a twinkie once, I don't remember how I got hold of one here in Australia, but there it was, a small package of three, so I bought it, ate one and tossed the other two in the nearest bin.
    I've also recently had a creme filled donut from Krispy Kreme, they've been in Australia for about a year now, so I got this donut and the bun part was okay, but the creme was like eating a spoonful of face cream, so I scooped that out and tossed it and I'll never buy another one. I prefer real cream.
    My mother enjoyed playing cards and would have loved to be in a group like yours.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hari om
    Foreign food! Though I suppose there are equivalents here... I just don't know about them. I do know I love your observation of those who do :-) YAM xx

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sounds like fun having a card playing group. I am so impressed that you decline the sweets.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They taste like petroleum distillates. For hours.

      Delete
  13. To quote Weaver - I didn't understand any of that!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I haven't eaten a HoHo or a Twinky in years. However, I could be talked into indulging in one very easily.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I can easily turn down a Twinkie or a HoHo, but show me a Hostess Snowball and all bets are off.

    ReplyDelete
  16. waxy chocolate covered chemical laden greasy cream...no thanks. Although I ate a twinkie or two as a kid but never cared for ho-hos. hostess cupcakes, now, I ate plenty of those back when they were still using real food. then they changed the recipe and you could taste the difference. same with chips ahoy cookies which I haven't eaten since. actually, since I went through menopause, I don't have much of a sweet tooth. don't care much for cookies or candy, never was a big cake fan but I'll eat pie.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ho-Hos and Twinkies tempt me not, but had it been a Ding Dong I'd had fought a duel to get my hands on it.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Never heard of that Russian bank game before

    ReplyDelete
  19. I play Russian Bank every evening with my son. We call it Chicaneuse or Schikanose. I learned it from my mother in law who learned it from her grandmother in pre-WWI Hungary. Hope you find someone to play it with. Would Laura like to learn it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We used to play at the old house. She's lost interest, now that school's started.

      Delete
  20. Not sure what a Ho ho is Joanne, but it looks jolly good.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I never liked Twinkies, but not too long ago I gave in and bought some Hostess cupcakes. I hadn't had one in years. They were delicious. Willy Dunne Wooters used to play double-deck pinochle with a group of friends. They called each other by their last names because all four have the same first name. WDW learned to play in jail . . . it's a long story.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At my knitting group the nicest little girl said of her skill, "I learned to crochet in prison." I moved over to hear what she had to say, if she cared to talk. She's been clean and sober for 13 years, and "They saved my life when they taught me to crochet."
      The world is full of stories.

      Delete
  22. I live in Bath. Do you have relatives in the UK, with a blog perhaps? I found you through Weaver and was surprised you are in Peninsula.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Replies
    1. Oh, my word. I've picked up blogger friends all over the world these last several years. Weaver keeps us all sensible.
      Email me if you'd like; jnoragon@gmail. We can have a grandmother chat.

      Delete
  24. I don't understand any of it either.

    ReplyDelete
  25. No to Twinkies and HoHo's, but I might just take a Ding Dong. Out of all of Hostess' goodies, those were my favorites. As for cards, nope - not a card player - but know plenty who are. Enjoy!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Great story, and who says no to a Twinkie? Little Debbie's?

    ReplyDelete
  27. My mother was a big fan of card playing. Canasta, she loved the most. I noticed deep fried twinkies in the freezer case at Walmart not long ago. All I could think about was a greasy film in my mouth with no pleasure in the taste. Why on earth would you fry a twinkie? And why would you eat one?

    ReplyDelete
  28. The favorites of my youth were Suzy-Qs (lots of cake for your money!) and the hand held pies covered in the sugary syrup. I still like those pies, but I don't eat them anymore.

    ReplyDelete